Photo Cred: Tianna D. Photography
I want to share the story of my delivery of Avri in hopes to inspire other women to educate and prepare themselves for vaginal birth in hopes of having the delivery they imagine. I understand that you can have a birth plan, or birth wishes as I like to call it, and things don’t always go as planned. My husband and I had our birth wishes and also had the mindset that things may not go as planned and that we will go with the flow of the delivery and make decisions based off what is best to get baby out as healthy and safe as possible. We spent months preparing for the delivery of Avri and I can honestly say it helped me have a smooth, short and incredible birth. No labor is the same and it is different for everyone. This is my story, my experience and my opinions. In no way am I telling you how to prepare, give birth or make certain decisions. I simply am sharing the story of the incredible gift we were given.
It was 10pm on Wednesday August 29th and I was getting into bed to read (a nightly routine I started while pregnant to relax and be calm). I started this routine because it is hard for me to relax and my body can be somewhat tense without me even knowing it. I didn’t want to give those vibes off to our unborn child. As I was attempting to get comfortable with the 100th pillow I felt a sensation like I just peed my pants. What in the hell was that, I thought to myself. I felt the bed and it was completely soaked where I was sitting. Did my water just break? I hurried to the bathroom all while I had fluid leaking down my leg. I sat on the toilet and it sounded like I was peeing, but I most definitely was not. I wasn’t expecting my water to break to start my labor because it is actually pretty uncommon for most women. So, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I yelled for Nick and I told him I think my water just broke. We just sat there looking at each other and broke out laughing because at this point we honestly weren’t sure what to do. Little did I know that when a woman’s water breaks fluid continuously comes out. I thought your water breaks and that is that. No more fluid. Man, was I wrong. I tried changing my clothes and had to run back to the toilet because more water was coming out. I decided to sit in the empty bathtub for awhile because again, I had no idea what to do at this point. It was then that my contractions started (about 10-15 minutes after my water breaking) and I noticed a hint of blood in my waters. I texted my doula, Rhonda Gearing, and she assured me that the color of my water was normal due to my cervix changing. All good signs and I was happy to hear it! She told me to try and get some rest as baby is coming. I showered, finished packing and attempted to go back to sleep all while soaking every towel we had in the house. I layered our bed with a couple towels and attempted to sleep around 11pm.
I never was able to fall asleep as my contractions were close together and quickly intensifying. This again was something I did not expect. All my research indicated that contractions would start slowly with 10-15 minutes apart. I wasn’t so lucky. Or was I? From my first contraction they were anywhere from 2-4 minutes apart and started to intensify pretty rapidly. I managed to stay in bed until 1:30am and at that point I was too uncomfortable to stay lying down. I went into the bathroom and labored on the toilet for at least 30 minutes. I don’t know why I had the inkling to labor on the toilet, it just felt good. During this time I was texting Rhonda and she was helping me through the contractions and what to expect next. She asked if I would like to get into a warm bath to help ease some of the pain considering I wasn’t getting much of a break in between contractions. A warm bath sounded nice so I drew myself a bath. I eventually needed to stand so I got out of the tub, got dressed and walked up and down our hallway and throughout our living room. Walking was the best thing for me as it seemed to make my contractions more manageable. Eventually, I wasn’t able to walk through my contractions and found it most comfortable to be bending over through them and breathing very low. I either bent over with my hands on my knees, over the counter or on my exercise ball. I did this by myself for about another 30 minutes until Nick woke up. I didn’t want to wake him as I knew it would be a long night for the both of us. He got up at 2:30am and stepped in as my birthing coach helping me through my contractions by rubbing my back and talking me through them. I finally wanted Rhonda to come over as I knew it was time for additional help. She arrived around 3:30am and she took over for Nick. Nick did an amazing job soothing me through my contractions, but Rhonda had the magic touch. With each contraction she would put pressure on my hips and that’s all I focused on and it got me through all of my contractions.
After about another 30 minutes of laboring in the living room trying different position to help my hips open up and to get baby in optimal birthing position I asked Rhonda what I needed to be expecting next. What will I feel that it will tell me it is time to go to the hospital? Pressure. She explained to me that first time moms generally push longer and since we were so close to the hospital she felt confident in waiting until I felt a slight pressure in my butt, meaning, I will be pushing soon. Soon after she told me that I started to feel the pressure, but wanted to stay at home just a little bit longer as I was comfortable and handling the contractions really well. At about 4am I knew it was time to go in. Nick already had the car loaded up so we made our way to the hospital. On the way to the hospital I had a couple contractions which weren’t fun. I soon realized that while sitting down, contractions were much more painful. I was very happy to park and walk myself into the hospital and to our room. And by walk, I mean very slowly and stopping every couple minutes for contractions. Luckily, Rhonda was right by my side to help me through them as Nick got us checked in.
We made it to our room and the nurses were busy getting the room ready while I changed out of my clothes into a birthing gown that I brought myself. I wanted my labor experience to have the least amount of “hospital” feel possible. I introduced myself to everyone and handed over our birth wishes. The nurses were all so kind, welcoming and appreciative having a copy of our birth wishes. The computer monitors weren’t working, which I didn’t care about because again I wanted this experience to be as comfortable and cozy as possible. Having less noise and machines helped with that. They did manage to get a reading of her heartbeat and everything sounded perfect. It then came to the time to check my cervix. I was hoping to be dilated to at least a 5 or 6. I got onto the bed and the nurse said very surprisingly, “you are 8 centimeters dilated and 100 percent effaced.” I was surprised myself and let out a very proud and happy, “oh shit!” This meant I only had 2 more centimeters to go before I could start pushing to finally meet our baby girl. Remember how I said when I was sitting my contractions were crazy intense painful? Well, when I got my cervix checked I stayed sitting because my legs needed a break. Bad decision on my part… I had a contraction sitting on the bed and it was the most painful contraction I had my entire labor. I told Rhonda and Nick to not let me sit anymore. At this time, the nurses cleared the room and it was just me, Nick and Rhonda. It was quiet, the lights were dim and I truly felt calm and at peace. I got out of bed and stood at the base of the bed facing it. I stood there, swayed and practiced deep breathing until I got a sudden urge to get onto the bed on all fours. I don’t know what came over me, instinct I suppose, but I was on all fours on the bed and couldn’t help myself but to push. I told Rhonda that I needed to push and at that time she called the nurses back in and to call our doctor in. I was now in a yoga childs pose on the bed grasping the bed rails. Again, it just felt right and primal to be in that position. Since I had my face either looking at Nick or buried into the bed, I am going to let Nick tell the rest of the story…
Photo Cred: Tianna D. Photography
Until this part, I had played the role of spectator/ go-for. Getting Brooke or Rhonda whatever was asked and offering what little consolation and words of encouragement I could. But, being first timers I really was just trying to bury the panic stirring inside me. However, once Brooke started the pushing process, all of the panic went away and I entered my old state of mind from my personal training days and went into coaching mode. Brooke was laboring on all fours or childs pose, with Rhonda focusing on rubbing her back and hips, so I took a knee next to the bed by Brooke’s face and tried to be an outside voice of encouragement and insight as to what was happening. I knew that in her position, all she would be able to focus on would be the pain and instinct reactions; however, I also knew her personality would be to over come that pain and potentially try to force this baby out. So, my job was going to be to try to get her to relax when she needed to and push like hell when it was time. Through our birthing videos and just previous knowledge, we knew that to prevent tearing and offer the best chance for a good postpartum recovery, relaxing her body was going to be key. BUT, anyone that knows Brooke, knows that relaxing isn’t exactly her forte.
Back to the actual birthing; Brooke was doing a great job of pushing hard against the bed with her hands to give the best possible bracing position to push. But little happened in the first few pushes. This is because little Avri was working her way down the birth canal, but as new parents, all you can think of is “why is she taking so long to come out?”. Once the head reached the open air, Brooke was in between contractions. I reminded her to try to relax as much as possible, even though it was painful. It would be worth it later if she could breath and relax as much now. At this time the nurse asked if I wanted to see the head. I responded with a confident “No, I am good, thanks”. I really wanted to focus on talking Brooke through it and honestly, I was a little weirded out by how it might all look down there. As soon as this happened a strong contraction came on and I got into Brookes ear, telling her the baby was on her way and this was the time to push harder than she had pushed yet. Throughout the pushing process, I got surges of feeling of pride in Brooke for how strong she was and how amazing she was handling this pain. After a brief second I could see that Brooke was exhausted already, but the contraction was not over and the doctor reminder her that she needed to keep pushing through the contractions. Falling short on a contraction would slow things down. If Brooke wanted this baby out, she was going to have to muster up the will to keep pushing, even when her mind wanted to take a break. So I coached her to keep pushing. After a couple of these “Push like hell, relax as much as possible” cycles, the head was about ½ inch out. The doctor asked if she wanted to feel the head, to which Brooke did. She made a comment that it felt way softer on her hand then it did coming out; to which everyone laughed. This was very important through this birth. Brooke had an amazing attitude and cracked jokes throughout the entire process; relieving tension, and really putting a positive spin on everything that was happening. Immediately after a little chuckle, the next contraction happened and it was game time again. After constant praising, and reinforcing urges for Brooke to keep pushing, Brooke was near to the point of pure exhaustion. She asked if the head was out, to which she got a firm “your almost there” from the doctor. At this point, Brooke is in the childs pose, so I could not see the baby, so I believed the doctor that her head was just about to pop out. However, at this time, Avri started to turn her head, so she was getting hung up on Brooke’s bone. The doctor recommended Brooke move to a side lying position. They moved her to her side, facing me, while Rhonda held her leg up. This position gave me a clear shot to baby’s head and I could see that the doctor and Rhonda were much more lenient on their terms of “she’s almost there”, as Avri’s head was only about ¾ inch out. I could see the doctor slowly tugging around Avris head to help clear room. I leaned over to Brooke’s ear and gave her some advice.“This will be over very soon, but you are going to have to push like hell when you get the next contraction, and keep pushing through the entire thing, you can’t stop pushing until it’s over or she isn’t going to get her head out. If you want this to be over, you have to put in the work right now”. At that moment, the next contraction happened and Brookes eyes lit up into “game mode”. She pushed crazy hard while I cheered her on in her ear. After a few seconds she went to relax and I barked in her ear to keep pushing, to which she responded with a fury of grit and pushed harder than she ever had. I looked down between Brooke’s legs just in time to see Avri’s ears pop out, and in what seem to be a blink of an eye, her eyes, lips, shoulders, down to her toes slid out. Brooke rotated to her back and the doctor pulled Avri immediately out and placed her on Brookes chest. The whole world seemed to stop in that moment. She was here. We were parents.
There were many things that I did and prepared for that I believe led to my smooth, short and seamless labor and one of those things was hiring a doula. We started working with Rhonda Gearing in my second trimester. She was recommended to me by my doctor along with a couple others as well. Rhonda was the first potential doula I met with and she was the last too. From our first official meeting I knew she was the one I wanted supporting me through this journey. I instantly trusted her. Her soft, kind deamer was something I knew I would need. Frankly, her personality was quite opposite of mine and I knew that’s exactly what I needed to stay calm and relaxed through the birthing process. We chatted and met in person throughout the remainder of my pregnancy and I knew I could go to her with any questions I had. I knew I would appreciate having a doula, but I never imagined how much I would appreciate her until the delivery. Like I thought, she was exactly what I needed. She coached me via phone in the middle of the night until I wanted her to come over. She knew exactly how to soothe me, speak to me and touch me to keep me calm, collected and relaxed throughout the entire process. If you are a first time mom or having your 5th child, I highly recommend hiring a doula and if you are in the Eau Claire area, you can’t go wrong with Rhonda! Continue reading Avri’s birth story from the eyes of Rhonda.
“I would describe Brooke as a very determined person. From the beginning of our doula-client relationship, she made it clear how she envisioned her birth… “As natural as possible. I want to embrace the process and give birth in the most healthy and natural way for the health of my baby and myself.” I remember Brooke asking if there were any questions she should ask, while taking her hospital tour, about certain policies since she wanted her labor to be all natural. She was open to learning techniques to help bring about optimal fetal positioning for labor and delivery. That must have worked! Brooke’s water broke just after 10 p.m. two days after her due date. Though I mentioned at this point that labor could be 12-24 hours, contractions were immediately five minutes apart and pretty intense by 1:30 a.m. Over the next hour they got closer together, and Brooke asked me to come to her house. When I arrived she was contracting every two to three minutes in the hands and knees position and focused on her breathing. It didn’t take long to decide it would be a good idea to head to the hospital just a few minutes away. On admission, she was dilated to 8 cm and 100% effaced, and baby was at -1 station. Within the hour she was feeling “pushy.” Her doctor arrived and was supportive of Brooke’s wish for a natural birth and did not intervene. She pushed in hands and knees position and then moved to right side lying for delivery. Her beautiful, healthy baby was handed up to her chest, and mom and baby bonded skin to skin. She had one of the quickest labors I’ve seen in a first-time mama. I attribute that to her focus on good nutrition and exercise and on incorporating Spinning Babies techniques into her routine.”
